An American Snape
by FanfictionGodess
Summary: What happens when Snape's American daughter and her mad scientist sister comes to teach Muggle Studies at Hogwarts? Hogwarts gets a muggle makeover! And how will Hogwarts stand the return of loved one's lost in the battles? WELCOME BACK SNAPE, SIRIUS, JAMES, LILY, FRED, REMUS, TONKS, AND DOBBY! An adventure full of romance and humor you will love every moment.
1. Welcome To Texas

_Snape__'s POV _

_What was I thinking letting Lily talk me into this? This is insane! And of course the ENTIRE Order would want to come! Morbid curiosity is all it is. A daughter! I have a daughter, and all the way in America at that._

I remembered the night when I met her mother, which was the _only _night I met her mother. It had been a particularly bad Death Eater meeting with more murder and torture then I had ever seen before. I felt the need to get as far away as possible, and get as drunk as possible. America seemed far enough away and besides it was the farthest away I could get by flew-powder. And much farther away then I could get by apperating.

By the time she walked into the bar I had waved goodbye to merely intoxicated several drinks ago. It was amazing that I remembered that night, but that's a perk of being a skilled at Legilimency. Apparently English accents are particularly seductive in America.

_Serves them right for pushing all that tea in Boston harbor._

Anyway that was the last time I had ever seen her. We found out about her when she applied for a job at Hogwarts. She had sent in a rather impressive job resume and had sent a picture of herself so that the staff would know who to look for if she was accepted. It was the picture that made everyone in the room gasp. Black eyes like mine and black hair like mine. Her facial structure was also similar, although more delicate and female. High cheek-bones and a pale complexion. But on her pale skin looked good and she had obviously gotten her mothers nose. Delicate and straight it complimented her face nicely. Her name was Sarah Riley

Of course the moment we found out she existed Granger started researching her background. Lily would let me Rest In Peace until I had spoken to my daughter.

Apparently her mother had married a muggle about a year after she was born and given birth to a muggle daughter but the father died about two years later while in military service, so she was left to raise to small girls on her own. She seemed to have managed just fine because because my they both were invited to prestigious boarding schools. One for muggles and one for wizards and witches. Both had graduated at the top of their class and Sarah had applied for the job of Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts shortly after.

And now here we all were in Texas walking up a hot, dust path to a ranch house. Well supposedly it was hot, it's a bit hard to tell when you're a ghost.

Even though I was dead I was happier then I had been since I was a small child. I loved Lily as my best friend but it no longer hurt when I saw her and James Potter holding hands, and she had forced Black, Lupine, James Potter, and I into a delicate truce. Although it still warmed my dead heart to see her hit Black over the head when he was rude.

Harry Potter found the Resurrection Stone and brought back anyone who wanted to come back. The best he could do though was to have them come back as ghosts that were capable of touching things and people when they wanted to. Fred Weasely was having the time of his... Life? Being dead. It meant he could get away with pulling pranks with his brother and no one could prove he was doing it if he was invisible. It was like having another Peeves around.

I walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. After a few moments a good looking brown haired women opened the door. It was obviously the mother, she had hardly changed. Maybe a bit older looking, but not that much. She stared at me for a bit and then said the last thing I expected her to.

"You're dead. We went to your funeral and watched and everything. You're a ghost now aren't you?" Se said.

I could think of anything to say so I merely nodded.

Well come one in then the lot of you. You might as well sit down and rest for now. Sarah isn't home right now, I'm asumming you came to see her."

I nodded again.

"Well she and her sister are at the high-school right now. Mixing some kind of nasty concoction the lab probably." She muttered in a fed-up voice. Apparently Sarah and her sister had an interest in potions.

I smirked.

"I'll call them up and tell them to come home. Hopefully they haven't been arrested for destroying the school lab. Again"

She picked up the phone and started dialing.


	2. Face To Face

_Snape__'s POV_

"I'll put her on speaker phone so you can all hear and talk to her." Her mother said. While the phone rang she went to the oven and put in a roast, then went to the counter and started cutting carrots. Finally a voice came over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello Sarah. There's been an exciting new development regarding your job."

"Really? What is it?"

"Well Harry Potter and a bunch of other people that I don't know have showed up at our house and your father has come to interview you since he's a teacher."

There was silence at the end of the phone for awhile, and then a muffled voice in the background.

"What's going on?" Said the voice.

"My fathers back from the dead to interview me." She responded "You are saying that he's back aren't you?"

"Yes dear. He wants to meet you, and supper will be ready by the time you get back. We're having a roast."

I heard someone give a victorious whoop in the back ground.

"That has been officially approved by Kate. We're just going to finish up here and then-" Sarah was interrupted then by he girl named Kate saying "It's not supposed to turn that color is it?"

"What color is- Oh my gosh run for it!"

A loud 'boom!' came over the phone and then "I told you not to add that Sarah."

"We'll be home soon mom. I don't think anything too expensive get broken."

Her mother hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh.

"This is what happens when you have one daughter who's a witch and one who is a squib. They're forever experimenting; they're one lab accident away from becoming super-villains."

"They're very smart then?" I asked.

"Oh yes. Each of them has an IQ of 210." She smiled proudly and the Granger girl (who had insisted on coming with us for some reason) gasped.

"Is that good?" I asked.

"It's better the good. The highest IQ ever recorded for an adult was 198; they're well above genius level."

I smirked proudly. So my daughter was a genius then hmm? _And _she like potions? Well I just might get along with her quite well. Suddenly spoke to Sarah's mother.

"My dear I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Mrs. Weasley, but you can call me Molly. And the man that is currently poking around your kitchen is my husband Mr. Weasley."

"Please call me Arthur though." Mr. Weasley said.

"It's very nice to meet you." Said Sarah's mother. "My name is Hannah. Please sit down and make yourself at home."

We all sat down and introductions went around. Hannah talked about the girls personal lives for awhile. Despite the fact that they looked different and were born a year apart they were practically identical twins. Both were incredibly smart and they both were interested in adapting magic into muggle technology and medicine. Hannah was also a squib, which had helped her deal with growing up with two children who were so different and smart.

She had started to talk about how the police have given up really trying to arrest them and just brought them into the station for the look of the thing, when a car drove up. A few moments later my daughter walked in the door, and I met her face-to-face for the first time.


	3. Dinner With The Family

_Sarah__'s POV_

I burst in the door and there he was. My father. I tried not to let my smile through, but I gave up and let myself stand there grinning like an idiot. Mama had always told me that I looked just like him but I hadn't realized just how true that was. I never got the chance to thank him for my hair, which was my one vanity, because the first time I saw him face-to-face was at his funeral.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I walked in the door a little over a year ago. Mama looked solemn and she told me that Mr. Snape had been murdered during that stupid wizard war in England, it had even affected America a little bit. The Death Eaters had tried tormenting our town, but luckily this was Texas and even the _cows _walk around with firearms. After about two tries at our town they learned that it was like trying to rob a gun shop. It just wouldn't work.

We flew to England in time for the funeral and I saw him lying in his coffin. I was surprised at how much I cried considering I didn't even know him. But I suppose that's why I was crying in the first place, because I had wanted to know him so badly and now I would never get the chance.

But here he was. Siting in our living room looking more alive then any ghost I had ever seen. Normally they're transparent and silvery, but these ghosts all had color to them and you could only see through them if you looked closely. It would have been such a touching moment if my sister hadn't waked in behind me, pointed to the ghost twin and said "That one's cute."

I sighed.

"He's a person Kate, not a puppy that you pick up at the store."

I walked over and started shaking hands and introductions were made. People both recently dead and long dead were here, and I shook all their hands in turn until I reached the pair that I had wanted to hold since I was a little girl.

My father's

_Snape's POV_

I clasped her living hands in my dead ones. This was my child. I couldn't believe that I actually had one. If I hadn't already been dead I might have had a heart attack when she walked in the door. She looked so much like me that it was uncanny, even though I had already seen a picture of her it was a shock to see her face-to-face. She was tall and lean like me and she had the same slender fingers that I did. Her eyes were black like mine, but I found it hard to think that she got those from me. They were so full of wonder and innocence; I doubt that mine had ever looked like that. I hoped that they never lost that look.

"It's so nice to finally meet you sir. Well, awake anyway. You weren't really in any condition to talk at your funeral." She said.

I smirked. She seemed to have gotten my morbid sense of humor as well.

"It's nice to meet you as well." I said.

Her mother called for dinner just then and her sister Kate gave whoop and sat down at the table. Sarah walked over to the table and made a grab for some bread rolls, getting a whack on the hand with a spoon for her troubles.

"Serve the others first Sarah." Said her mother.

She served all the living people and we all sat down in the living room to talk.


	4. Getting To Know You

_Snapes POV_

Even though I couldn't eat I found myself enjoying the dinner. We were all sitting around their cozy living room while Arthur Weasely quizzed them about every blessed piece of muggle technology that he could lay his eyes on. And Sarah and her sister never got tired of answering his stupid questions. They seemed to enjoy it!

I turned towards their mother.

"Are both Sarah and Kate going to apply for a teaching job? Or will it just be Sarah?" I asked.

"Well it's just Sarah applying but I dare you to try and separate them. They're as close as two people can be without morphing into one being. Her sister's a squib like me you see, so she can see everything that her sister can she just can't produce any magic on her own.

Not that she needs to. Sarah produces the magic and Kate helps her incorporate it into technology for muggles, They also both have a knack for potions that I find a bit alarming."

I hadn't noticed that our conversation had drawn a crowd. Apparently me talking to a woman was a note-worthy event.

Both the girls were giving their mother a dirty look, but it was Sarah who spoke.

"We don't melt things _that _often, and anyway we mean to most of the time."

"I had to bail your butt out of jail for blowing up the school lab last month. The only reason the fine wasn't as high as it could have been was because the police are used to you and your sisters activities."

Sarah gave a long suffering sigh and turned back to explaining wireless internet to Arthur.

The living people had all gone to sleep at least two hours ago, or at least they were supposed to but I was pretty sure I could hear Kate and Sarah still up.

I had been mildly surprised by the girl's mother. I would have thought that she would have felt uncomfortable around the man who had fathered her daughter but she seemed to view me as just another house guest.

With nothing much for us dead people to do at night we sat around and talked for awhile. Potter was going on about his days in Hogwarts when a shout came from Sarah in her bedroom.

"I knew it! His trial was a totally half-arsed attempt at justice! The physics aren't correct!"

Then a "We all know Serious Black is innocent you don't have to actually prove it anymore."

Her mother shouted from down the hall.

"Go to sleep dammit!"

"Sorry mom!"


	5. The Day Before

_Sarah__'s POV_

At first when I woke up I was confused. There were more voices coming from down-stairs then I was used to.

Sitting up I took stock of my room. There were several teenagers that I didn't immediately know on sight. But then the events of the previous evening came flooding back and I smiled.

All us teenagers (And one Arthur Weasely) had gotten together in my bedroom to hangout out and listen to music on the computer. Kate explained every piece of muggle technology in my room that she could; I got a bit bored. So I brought up a program that allowed me to re-make Sirius Black's supposed crime scene.

It wasn't very hard. All I had to do was re-create the setting, calculate the range of the curse that he was supposed to have used, and there you had it. Plus it didn't make any sense that all that was left of Peter Pettigrew was a finger. Did the wizard cops really think that he exploded so hard that _all _that was left was a finger? Where was the rest of him? You would think there would have been bits of him lying around _somewhere_.

I was about to go back to sleep when a call for pancakes issued from downstairs. My sister and I couldn't have jumped up any faster if we and trained for it. We burst through the door, down the hall, and jumped the whole flight of stairs to get to the kitchen.

Mom gave us look that clearly expressed that she was tired of our stupid stunts, but was too dead inside to do anything about it.

There are not a lot of sight stranger then seeing a bunch of ghosts hanging around your kitchen. But I figured that I would see stranger sights at Hogwarts so I jut sat down and started eating.

Mom makes the best pancakes in the world. Warm chocolate chips that melt in your mouth when you take a bite. She also puts out maple syrup that we buy from our neighbor, so it's always fresh.

She had to take the plate away from us before we ate all of them and there would be none left for our guests.

By the time our guests came down we had already eaten ourselves full to bursting, just like we did every time Mom made pancakes.

_Snape's POV_

It was rather amusing, and a bit worrying, to watch Sarah and Kate come down the stairs at break neck speeds. It seemed the pancakes were just that good. They certainly looked it.

The rest of them were lucky to get down before Sarah and Kate ate them all; they almost missed out as it was.

"Do you think I could have a look around your farm?" Asked Mr. Weasely. "I would love to see all your-what do you call them?- Trackers?"

"Sure, I'll show you." Kate volunteered. "Sarah had to get her study plan ready. That is if she got the job?"

"Yes she did." I said. "We stopped by to inform you of the fact. I would love to see your study plan though."

"Oh that would be great! You can tell me if I'm bringing anything that people have already studied to the table." said Sarah.

I nodded and listened as George started up a talk with her about his joke shop. After a while I noticed that he wasn't looking at her face when he thought she wasn't looking. An odd protective feeling bubbled up.

Sarah got up to put her plate away and I leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"Do try to keep your eyes on her _face _when you speak to Sarah Mr. Weasely. I would hate to have to pluck your eyes out and give them to Professor Slughorn to use as ingredients."

He went very pale and looked at his plate for the rest of their conversation.

_Sarah's POV_

I lead Professor Snape up to my room while Kate took Mr. Weasely out to reek carnage on the world.

It was odd to think that this would be the first time my dad saw my room.

When I opened the door there wasn't a whole lot to see. It was an average teenagers room. There were some clothes on the floor and my laptop on my desk at the opposite side of the room as my bed. I had some posters up advertising _Doctor Who, Steam Powered Giraffe, _and _Loki _from the movie _Thor: Dark World. _

Yes. My sister and I think British guys are hot, we figure it's how England is getting its revenge for losing the Revolutionary War. It produces hot guys to tease us American women.

The only oddity in my room was my wand which sat on my nightstand. Long, smooth, and black except for an ivy design on the handle. And the experiment going on in one corner, but the police don't know about that.

"Sorry about the mess. The only person who ever really visits here is my sister. Mom just avoids our rooms on general principles. Whenever she sees my sister and I working on our projects she looks dead inside and pulls out a bag that says _Bail Money_."

He snorted and I felt ridiculously happy that I had made him even kind of laugh. It was a bit sad really.

He walked over to my desk and looked at it for a moment.

"What's this?" He asked.

He was pointing to the scene on my laptop which showed Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and the muggle and wizard victims of his supposed killing spree. I was rather proud of my virtual crime scene, it had the correct distances, accurate pictures of the people in it, and it was animated to cast the curse to see what happened. There was also a file that contained all the information that I could gather on Sirius Black.

"Oh. My sister and I got bored one day so we decided to see if we could prove Sirius Black's innocence using muggle methods. We could, but the wizard cops would never listen to us." I explained.

I pressed play and let the scene play out.


	6. Tumblr Notice

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	7. Meeting Dobby

_Snape's POV_

As I watched the scene play out all I could think was: _I'm impressed._

What kind of teenage girl proved Sirius Black innocent because she was _bored?_

Well _mine _obviously, I smirked.

As I watched, Sirius Black's crime scene played out in front of me and it quickly

shut down any possibility of him being guilty. How did the Ministry not notice this before? She was right, there was no way he was standing close enough to have cast a spell that could have made that rat blow up like that and not leave any more pieces aside from a finger. I watched it play out again and found myself wondering how they had made this scene. It looked just like Black and that stupid rat.

"Did you make this?" I asked Sarah.

"Well both my sister and I did, yes."

"How did you know what he looked like?"

"We didn't. While I was at school Kate did some research on him and got some visual descriptions. After that we entered them into the computer and modified his face until we thought it looked right. The same with Pettigrew. Here watch this."

She sat down in front of the computer and started typing. She went to a place that seemed to control the actions of the people in the crime scene and then brought up a new "window". That was what she called a page for her computer.

She typed in _YouTube _and found some song in some strange language. It was Korean as it turned out. She then went back to the crime scene, typed in some strange words, added the music, and pressed play.

As soon as she pressed play the scene played out in full again. But at the very end both Black and Pettigrew walked up to each other, looked each other in the eyes, and suddenly started having a dance off! We were laughing so much that the others came up to see what was going on. She started it over and pressed play again, by the time it reached the end we were all laughing.

I never thought I'd see the day that I was laughing with James Potter and Sirius Black.

_Sarah's POV_

I never thought that I would be laughing with my dad one day. But we were, and judging by the look on his face watching Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew have a dance off to the song _Gangnam style _was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Even my mom, who sometimes got tired of us fiddling around on the computer, thought that this was hilarious.

Everything was going great until mom went downstairs and let out a shrill scream, then it got even funnier. I didn't jump up right away because that was her "I've just seen a spider and now the apocalypse is coming" scream. Although I did jump up when the spider screamed back at her.

We all went running down the stairs and stopped at the bottom. There in front of my mom, and giving her the same worried look that she was giving it, was a creature that I was both adorable and slightly creepy. I loved it, although I had no idea what it was. It looked intelligent and this was confirmed when Harry yelled: "Dobby!" In a happy voice.

"Master Harry sir!" The creature named Dobby screeched in delight.

Kate had run upstairs and was on her way back down.

"It's a house-elf." Kate whispered in my ear. "They're bound to a family and have to do whatever their master or masters say the only way they can be freed is by giving them clothes. Until then they ware a pillow-case. They're often abused I should imagine, since they're bound to do what they are told no matter what."

"When you say 'whatever they're told' they really have to do _anything_?" I asked.

"Yep. And if they don't they have to punish themselves."

"Dear Lord."

Harry introduced us to Dobby.

"It's very nice to meet you." I said, leaning down and shaking his hand.

He looked at his hand as if no one had ever shaken it before.

"Um... Would you like to sit down sir?" I asked. "I guess I could make tea, although I don't know how good it will taste. I mostly drink coffee."

I almost had a heart attack when he started to wail, I had forgotten he was dead!

"Oh I'm sorry I-"

"Asked to tea by a witch! You must be a very great witch indeed and very very kind!"

Now I just kind of stood there while Harry calmed him down. I hoped that all house-elves weren't this emotional when you were half-way decent to them. If they were, well it was going to be a very long stay at Hogwarts indeed.


	8. First Day of Class

_Sarah__'s POV_

I put my suitcase down on my dresser with a _thunk! _And looked around the bedroom I would be sharing with my sister. It was very nice but very plain, with two twin beds, two desks, two dressers and mirrors, and two nightstands. The beds had mattresses so soft that I was pretty sure they were charmed and they had shiny, deep brown bed frames. I think they were made of teak or something, and the desks seemed to be made of the same kind of wood. There was a large window on one side of the room that looked out onto the lake and was showing a lovely sunset.

My sister and I had wasted no time in making this room ours, even though we had only arrived a few hours ago. _Doctor Who, Steam Powered Giraffe, _and_ Loki _posters covered the walls already and our _Doctor Who _bedspreads were in place.

Kate was sitting at her desk and was making a blue-print for something. I was pretty sure she was trying to make a model T.A.R.D.I.S that was actually bigger on the inside. If she ever figured out how to travel in time and space I was going to pick up some antiques and get filthy rich.

To be honest all that money would probably be spent on laptops and books.

I was so glad that we were excused from the welcoming feast because I was exhausted and I had to teach a class with Kate the next day.

I was never flying with pure-bloods _ever _again! It wasn't the constant questioning on its own that bothered me so much, it was the fact that getting them through the airport successfully was like trying to herd cats. We weren't connected to the Floo network and it was difficult to Apperate to a completely different continent at the best of times. It was impossible if you had never been there before.

No trip had ever felt so long.

I collapsed into the bed and slept and dreamless sleep.

I stood in the Muggle Studies classroom and looked around with a feeling of horror. The rest of the school I could understand looking like it was so far into the past, but _**this**_? How did they expect students to learn about muggles with all this backwards muggle technology? I suppose the students would be okay in the muggle world if it was the twenty years ago or something, but come on! Get with the times people.

I looked at the clock. Five minutes till class started.

I sat down at my desk and put my head on my arms in frustration.

I felt a warm presence behind me. I'm not sure how, but I knew it was my dad right away.

"Most ghosts project a cold feeling in the air you know. Why do you feel warm?"

Professor Snape sat down across from my desk and shrugged.

"I haven't the fainest idea why. You seem a bit frustrated today. What's the problem?" He asked.

"The problem is that all the muggle artifacts in this room are so far behind the times it's not even funny. If it was about twenty years ago the students _might _make it in the muggle world. Barely though. This place needs a complete overhaul."

"Talk to the Headmistress. Prehapse she would be interested in giving some funding for this."

"Thanks I will. You know muggle technology has come so far that it's practically magic in and of itself. I think that with a little work this class could become a lot of fun."

The students started filing in at that point.

"Well, we shall see. In the meantime good luck."

He disappeared and I was left with a class of students waiting to be taught.


	9. Field Trip Part 1

_Sarah__'s POV_

I could tell that most of the students didn't like this class, some had even started to doodle and one or two and already started to fall asleep.

_Well we'll see how bored they are in a moment._

"Good morning class. I'm Miss Snape, but you can just call me Sarah-"

"Are you related to professor Snape?" One of the students asked.

"Yes I'm his daughter. Now as I was saying; I'm sure many of you find this class very boring and lame. I agree. It must have been a truly mind numbing class while it was being taught. But the reason for that may have been because so much of this stuff has been out of date for at least twenty years, maybe more. Things have advanced quite a bit in the muggle world since then. In fact much of the muggle world has advanced so much that much of it is almost magical in itself."

I could tell that this had their attention. The sleeping student had even woken up. I jumped up on my desk and sat down which seemed to startle some of the students. I guessed that many of their teachers were too dignified to do that.

"Now because so much of the stuff in this classroom is out of date I can't really teach you anything with it. Which is why we are going on a field trip."

One of the students raised their hand.

"Yes?" I asked.

"What's a field trip?"

I stared at him for a few seconds.

"It's when a teacher takes you out of the class room and takes you out in public. Like going to or a park or something. Do you mean to tell me that you have never left the castle for a learning experience?"

The entire class shook their heads.

"Well today that changes. Field trips are the best if you like where you're going, and trust me. You'll _love _where you're going. You're going to see how muggles preform magic in movies You've at least all heard about what movies are?"

They nodded an affirmative.

"Well I imagine that you have seen some rather older movies then what they have now. Prepare to have your mind blown, this is going to be amazing."

Kate-who been lurking in the corner and drooling over a boy with platinum blond hair- stood up and started passing out papers.

"Now on these scraps of paper you will find an address. We are going down to Hogsmead and we are going o use the floo network. Hermione Granger's family has kindly allowed us to use their fireplace. From her house we will then take a muggle bus and we will go to a movie. Come on ya'll let's go."

By the time we were seated on the muggle bus most of the class was rather excited to be going to a movie.

I leaned over and whispered to Kate.

"How do you manage to score a willing family attached to the floo network so fast? I didn't even have the idea of going to a movie until this morning when I saw the classroom."

"I creeped down to the class room last night to take a look. I almost had a heart attack when I saw how behind the times it was. So I asked Hermione if I could use her parents house for the floo network and she said they would be okay with it if I called ahead of time. So I found a payphone not far from Hogsmead and called them with the number she gave me and they said they were okay with it."

I hugged her.

"I don't know what I would do without you Kate. I'd probably be in more trouble then I already get in."

"I know. I'm perfect and you could live without me. Now about that sexy blond..."


End file.
